www.spirit.newpagelc.co.uk carolpage@newpagelc.co.uk (+357) 99 078545
How was it for you?
Some of you will identify with my story – at least in part. But I recognise that not everyone reading this web site is interested in the integration of spirituality and sexuality – I have included this page merely as explanation for where I am coming from.
For more information about me and my background, click on the link to the main web site:
For more information about me and my background, click on the link to the main web site:
Over the last 8 or 9 years, I have been on a personal journey of exploration. At times it has been painful and exciting, daunting and fun, scary and liberating.
I was happily married and relatively open-minded, yet through a series of circumstances I came to realise that I was neither sexually nor spiritually liberated. For an ordained minister I guess I was very aware of faith issues but as far as sex was concerned I was very naïve.
I was happily married and relatively open-minded, yet through a series of circumstances I came to realise that I was neither sexually nor spiritually liberated. For an ordained minister I guess I was very aware of faith issues but as far as sex was concerned I was very naïve.
Through a series of circumstances, my whole world was blown open!
Over a period of a few months my previous convictions of right and wrong were challenged irrevocably and the neat boxes within which I kept my sexuality and my spirituality no longer contained their contents. Both these aspects of my life were fighting for liberation yet seemed to be pulling in different directions. How was it possible to be both sexually and spiritually vibrant?
At times it felt like I was being torn in two!
It seemed to me from my many years of being submerged within religious life that these drivers could not exist together. My partner referred to this juxtaposition in me as the ‘Fairy and Witch’ syndrome and at
times it did feel to me like I had a split personality. One moment I could feel good about my sexual appetite and the next feel guilty and want to push it all back in its neat little box again.
My spiritual journey was also one of change and increased openness. The religious tradition within which I had worked and practiced my faith no longer seemed big enough to contain the rich diversity of experiences I encountered. I needed a bigger container – or perhaps no container at all!
With the help of my wonderful Spiritual Director I began to understand how spirituality and sexuality can be integrated. I slowly discovered that God was not going to be angry with me; rather, I felt a spiritual longing to let go of the barriers which had contained me for so long.
My spiritual journey was also one of change and increased openness. The religious tradition within which I had worked and practiced my faith no longer seemed big enough to contain the rich diversity of experiences I encountered. I needed a bigger container – or perhaps no container at all!
With the help of my wonderful Spiritual Director I began to understand how spirituality and sexuality can be integrated. I slowly discovered that God was not going to be angry with me; rather, I felt a spiritual longing to let go of the barriers which had contained me for so long.
It felt, for the first time, that the world was an exciting place of discovery – like a huge playground – and I was allowed to run and play, while still feeling safe!
I now feel that I am on a new level of my journey to spiritual and sexual freedom and long to help others to break free of the shackles that hold them back from feeling fully alive.
My Story by Carol Page
